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The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 7:09am
Geology classes in Alabama now mandating alternative "Paul Bunyan" theory

After months of debating amongst themselves, Alabama state representatives have finally agreed to require geology teachers to teach "Paul Bunyan Theory" as an alternative to the scientific explanation for formations such as canyons and mountains...

The theory states that "The natural features such as mountains and rivers are too big to have been made by nature, and were instead created by some large, intelligent, lumberjack-like being."

"We don't specifically SAY it was Paul Bunyan who did it, we just say it was an intelligent, lumberjack like being!" Scientists argued back that there are very few other large lumberjacks other than Paul Bunyan, and they also made the rather obvious point that the theory is obviously referring to Paul Bunyan, because Bunyan is in the theory's name

;)
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Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 8:39am
(mumbled in low menacing tone) "I hope you ain't tryin' ta tell me that it wadn't Paul Bunyon that made them thar rivers and mountains, Yankee. Round hyar, them'd be fightin' words."
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 9:31am
Why are idiots like this allowed to represent southerners? She's dang lucky I don't sick my Aunt Dave on her.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 7:59pm
Well, if you're talking about me, my roots are in Tennessee, although most of my life has been spent west of the Mississippi.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Tue, Jun 5 2007, 2:17am
No darlin', I didn't mean you, I meant the lady in the story. And I am also southern. Lived all over the south growin up.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Tue, Jun 5 2007, 7:08am
(Psst, did you look at the link?)
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Tue, Jun 5 2007, 8:49am
Yes jelly, I know it's a joke. I was trying to be mean and sarcastic. It doesn't suit me well it seems. =)
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 10:14am
People in the "Say-yowth" are the ones still flying a Confederate Flag, no? Honestly, which is worse: terrorists who blow up buildings or intellectual terrorists who do things like this?
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 10:15am
Especially considering Paul Bunyan has ZERO ties to the "Say-yowth".
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 9:06pm
Idiotic theory! Canyons are fromed when the flying spagati monster strech some of the noodles into space. The pit is the canyon and the rock becomes a metoer
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Mon, Jun 4 2007, 10:39pm
Why is it that we cant have a single post on this site without somebody completely degrading another person, group, religion, belief etc...
Seriously, take it easy and try to concentrate on finding some of those pesky critters.

Oh, and by the way. Chew on this tony, cause the war of northern aggression will not be forgotten!
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Wed, Jun 6 2007, 6:35am
It wasn't a war of Northern aggression, it was a war of Southern slavery.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Wed, Jun 6 2007, 9:15pm
It was the north that paid black soldiers less than white soldiers and tried to give then 2 meals a day instead of 3...
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Thu, Jun 7 2007, 7:52am
And it was the South who was fighting to make sure they could keep them as slaves.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Fri, Jun 8 2007, 8:58pm
Yes i'm sure the 100's of thousands of Confederate soldiers who volunteered did it so they could fight for rich plantation owners' profits.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Thu, Jun 7 2007, 9:18am
I'm tempted to make that image my desktop background...
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Tue, Jun 5 2007, 4:28am
You're right, that was a terrible attempt at satirical criticism. Whoever wrote that should be send to GTMO...
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Tue, Jun 5 2007, 7:07am
I do so hope you and Meg were just continuing the satire.
Re: The Alternative "Paul Bunyan" Theory of Geology
posted Wed, Jun 6 2007, 2:45am
My father had the confederate flag everywhere, and was proud of it. There was nothing more humiliating.


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