Cisco's online journal Day 57: Tibet at the foot of K2
Weather: Miserable and crappy. It is cold, wet, and windy. The tent that
the sherpas set up for us was had holes. The wind cut through like a
laser beam. I never thought that the cold hurt so much. I will never be
warm again. Does the Sun never rise here?
On the positive side, there seems to be something to these Yeti legends.
The other night Gerry Bacon was answering Nature's call and something
started with these weird vocalizations. But oddly enough, they always
emanate downwind from him. It's happened two days in a row now. Must
investigate.
Also on the plus side: We had to eat Seeker. We ran out of canned Spam,
Wheaties and Fosters. So we drew straws and seeker got the short one.
Besides he was annoying with his constant "what ifs!" and insipid trivia
questions. I called dibs on his liver. I think I have some fava beans
and a nice Chianti left. He's not that big so we're eyeing each other up
to see who will go well with wild grass sprouts and Yak Milk wine.
Day 69. Somewhere in Tibet...I think (GPS unit went dead)
2:43pm
Seeker is gone. So are my fava beans. I'm constantly hungry but Gerry
somehow manages to sleep with both eyes open. He hasn't dared to turn
his back to me in three days now. Thank God since I've discovered the
source of the strange noises. I'm quite sure something has died and
decayed in his intestinal tract, something quite horrendous.
But he can't hold out much longer. He's beginning to hallucinate.
Yesterday, we found what I believe to be Yeti scat but Gerry swore it
was a Baby Ruth. Sadly, the evidence needed to disprove the Yeti's
existence has gone missing so the expedition continues. I will not
accept failure!
11:19pm
I'm starting to develop a great fear of Gerry. He has taken to sleeping
in the nude and building miniature nests out of navel lint. And that
smile, that ever present, insane smile!
Cisco
Day 72. Still in Tibet.
It's cold as hell and I'm starving! Gerry is still smiling! Why did I
agree to go along with this stupid stunt?
1732 hours
Salvation! McCall shows up out of nowhere with provisions: 32 pounds of
beef jerky, 23 bags of potato chips, 14 containers of French onion dip,
8 cases of beer, 1 bottle of Scotch, and 6 pounds of cheap tobacco.
Gerry puts away his collection of belly button lint and quits grinning.
We all begin eating - except for McCall, who seems to subsist almost
entirely on Scotch and beer - although Gerry won't touch the dip because
it's French.
1921 hours
We're in the middle of a blizzard. Most of the chips are gone. I'm still
starving, mostly because Gerry stopped letting me have anything to eat
after the first nine minutes of our meal. Gerry is still eating jerky
and chips, and drinking beer. His insane smile has come back. McCall has
wandered off into the blizzard, taking the nearly empty bottle of Scotch
with him, after saying something about how the weather here reminds him
of home. I really don't like it here, especially with Gerry staring at
me. Damn that Seeker! If we hadn't eaten him already, I'd kill him for
thinking of this foolish idea. I wish I was home in California.
Cisco
Day 73. Tibet
0900
I'm alone. The jerky and beer had devastating effects on Gerry last
night. The strange noises emanating from his tent were worse than ever.
I finally crawled out of my own tent about four this morning, just in
time to watch Gerry's tightly sealed tent floating off into the
darkness. I fear he's dead as no one could possibly survive that much
methane. If he is still alive, it's only temporary. When he goes to
light that first cigarette it will be quite an explosion.
McCall hasn't returned yet and I have 7 beers, a half a bag of chips and
seven containers of the French dip left. I have decided to pack it in. I
will slip on my boots specially made for this expedition from skinned
out bear legs and start down the mountain first thing in the morning. I
only hope I have enough provisions to last me. Perhaps I can supplement
my rations with the Baby Ruths Gerry so easily found in his travels. I
would leave today but I have to at least try and find McCall. So I will
take a position on yonder hill and scream for him. "McCall, I'm buying!"
If that doesn't work, then I'm afraid he is gone.
Cisco
day 75. tibet
Flash showed up today in a medivac copter, loaded with supplies.
But, since he forgot to fill up the tank on the way over, so we saw him
for about 3 seconds before he fell out of our sight again. Gerry is
going down to see what he can do about finding, and re-gassing the
chopper.
Cisco
Day 73. Tibet.
2100 hours:
Miraculously, at my call of "McCall, I'm buying," McCall strolled in out
of the blizzard, an empty bottle of Scotch in his right hand. Then he
told me he knows a nice bar nearby, if I really want to stand rounds. It
was snowing so hard I couldn't see more than five feet in front of me
and we were at an altitude of 19,000 feet, but I thought I'd better
humor him, since he seemed as crazy as Gerry, so I told him to take me
to this bar. He grinned and walked back out into the blizzard.
Doubting my sanity, I followed him. He led me into a cave and then faded
off into nothingness. I felt dizzy and passed out briefly. When I woke
up I was standing in a bar, next to McCall. He said he'd have a glass of
Glenlivet on the rocks, since I was buying. I looked around. Gerry was
sitting on a bar stool, drinking a Guinness and smoking a cigar. The bar
maid was rubbing his bald head and saying how smooth it felt. A white
ferret was standing on the bar, drinking Guinness out of a saucer. A
curvy red-haired woman was petting the ferret and going on about how
adorable it was and did it want another Guinness and how it was simply
the most wonderful thing she'd ever seen and so on. The ferret seemed
happy.
I looked around some more. I couldn't believe it! The place was full of
Yeti and Bigfoot. They were everywhere, drinking and conversing with
each other in voices that sounded remarkably similar to the voice of the
cartoon character, Yogi Bear. There was a heavy-set blonde-haired guy
over in one corner, taking glamour photos of the female Bigfoot, who
were simpering and winking at him.
I asked McCall where we were. He said we were in the Trans-dimensional
Bar and Grill and that it was a chain establishment, with portals that
lead to various spots all over the world. He reminded me that I said I
was buying and that he'd really like a glass of Scotch on the rocks,
with just a whisper of water. I walked over to the bar and ordered
McCall's Scotch. A skinny, wiry, long-haired guy with a beard was there,
drinking Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Sitting on the bar stool next to him
was a huge blue rabbit, bigger than a beagle. I recognized the guy (but
not the rabbit). He was the mountaineer, herm. He said hello and told me
that I was suffering from altitude sickness and was hallucinating.
2200 hours:
I'm awake. My tent is in tatters. No one else is around. All the food
has been blown away by the storm. I don't think I can last much longer.
Great God! This is an awful place.
Cisco
2300 hours:
I found a piece of Seeker frozen in the snow, so I ate it. It tasted
very tangy for Seeker, so I continued looking around for more. I found
several pieces before I realized. These were pieces of McCall! Then I
saw a strange teen feasting on some more of this McCall meat. Then I
could see more around him. A weird, young man who had a "My wife left me
some fruit in the freezer" shirt on, and another man, in his 90's, with
a Technicolor hearing aid on, chewing on his own hand. "Who the heck are
you?!" I asked demandingly. "I'm a beautiful princess" exclaimed the
young teenager. I could tell he was hallucinating. I ripped off his
dress to find that he was in training pants and a shirt saying "I'm
Mooman, remember me Cisco?" on it. "How dare you pence me" Mooman
screeched. I wasn't in the mood for it, so I was forced to push him in
the river near by. After chipping at the ice for 4 days, he came back to
what senses he had. "Hey, want some McCall?" he asked me. I declined
only to find myself gorging on it 5 minutes later. McCall might have
been my friend, but his meat was too tangy and alcoholic to resist!
2400 hours:
I'm thinking of eating that old guy that was with Mooman. He looks like
he's been eating sugar all his life. I took a bite of him while he was
asleep last night, and he was good. The other guy ended up suffocating
after choking on his tongue.
Why did that Seeker drag me into this?! If he was still alive I would
kill him, use CPR to revive him, and kill him again.
Cisco
2500 hours:
I've realized what's been happening here. There were 3 original comers,
and then 5 came. And 3've been eaten, one choked, 2 are missing and
Mooman and I are here. It's a good thing that Mooman's dress was made
with sugar coated sugar, or else only one person would be here for
certain. Every night I dream of that white ferret from the bar talking
to a guy he calls "Veers", who says something's going to happen on Dec
22nd, 2012. But, dreams don't really matter. If only it could be all of
us, walking through a New Jersey alley, talking about how we almost had
to eat each other while feasting upon some KFC popcorn chicken. But,
it's all a fantasy, like fiction books, sci-fi movies and cryptids not
existing. I often dig in the snow trying to find good ol' Flash_T.'s
helicopter, but I'm starting to believe Mooman when he says it's
hundreds of feet under the snow. Oh, before I go, I must name you.
You'll be Kitty, my sweet pet. Don't cry. I'm going to go dig more.
2600 hours:
I'm back, my precious. I found a piece of Gerry's shirt, but that
doesn't matter, because you're the most important person. I want to
jkdfsghliasr. Mooman just slapped me. What have I been writing in you?
I'm going crazy jhefaddfsl;. It's a helicopter! There's Matt and
William! I'm saved! We're saved!
2700{Final hours}:
I'm in the helicopter with Mooman and my two saviors. They're going to
clone the rest that are dead or are in unknown parts. And in this
cloning, they'll have all memory of what happened before their death
and'll be the exact same age!
My last note is that there's a Kongamato and a Thunderbird fighting
outside my window.
My last journal writing
Goodbye,
Cisco.
________________________________________________________________________
Thanks to the contributions of Seeker (maker), Gerry Bacon, McCall,
Flash_T., Mooman (Journal fllers), Jello B. Mello (Editor), and Cisco
(Who let us use him in our story).
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